overwhelmed.

Posted on Apr 19, 2012 in Ramblings

I hate it when bloggers apologize for being away. It’s like they assume there is some mass of people on the other side of the computer screen waiting with bated breath for the next dose of prose. Bloggers, in general, are a navel-grazing bunch, but I’m not conceited enough to believe that you guys even notice when I’m not around. You have lives. And they sure as hell don’t revolve around me and my verbose recipe anecdotes.

That being said, sorry for the disappearing act.

The truth is, something had to give this week and as much as I love my little slice of internet, it was first on the chopping block. Actually, that’s a lie. It’s second. Right behind sweating on the treadmill. As unhealthy as it is, exercise is always goes first.

As women, we are often expected to do it all and not complain. Suck it up and be super human. Bake the most beautiful cupcakes on the planet and change a flat tire while wearing the heels that everyone covets and finishing our PhD in awesomeness.

Sorry. I can’t do it. I’m overwhelmed.

And by feeling that way it doesn’t make me weak, lazy or unambitious. It doesn’t make me less amazing, beautiful or strong. It just means that life got all up in my bidness, and I need some time to wrap my brain around it. There is absolutely nothing wrong with stepping back, holding up the proverbial stop sign and getting everything in order before moving onward and upward.

I’m not going to list out the details of my current overwhelmed state, because, after all, it’s all relative. Chances are my to do list looks like a walk in the park to some people and like a terrifying burden to others. It’s counterproductive, anyway, because that kind of comparison is what leads us to, as a society, shame one another for not performing at an impossible level. Just because my to do list is smaller (or longer) than yours, it doesn’t invalidate my feelings.

I’m giving myself permission to be overwhelmed. And own it. (Hi! This is me. Owning it!) Because it’s totally okay to feel this way. In fact, it’s healthy.  We’re expected to push past this feeling and do more, be more, accomplish more, but we feel overwhelmed for a reason. It’s a big, honkin’ red flag that says, “Hey you! Yeah you! Put down the frosting and get your shit in order.”

So, I’m putting down the frosting for a few days. And I give you permission to do the same the next time you need it. It doesn’t make you any less amazing. It just makes you real, imperfect and human.

See you in a few days. With the recipe for this ridiculousness.

How do you deal with feeling overwhelmed?

PSSSSSST. Don’t forget, the Sweat for the Cure Raffle is still going on. Donations are low, low, low this time. Which is terrible for the cause (bah!) but awesome for anyone who wants great odds at winning awesome prizes. Go win something! 

 

17 Comments

  1. Hi. Welcome to my life! I think ‘overwhelmed’ has been my default state of mind for the past couple months, dealing with a death in the family, starting a new job, and trying to plan a wedding.

    I DEFINITELY endorse taking breaks from things when feeling overwhelmed. All I want to do right now is go to the beach with a book and relax for 1 or 2 or 10 days. We’re taking a mini weekend vacation the first week of May, so I’m hoping that recharges me.

    Hope you get less overwhelmed soon!

  2. I noticed I hadn’t “seen” you as often as usual! I think it’s great that you can admit when enough is enough and take a step back to breathe. I’ve pretty much been in the “overwhelmed boat” since early March and both my exercise schedule and blogging have taken a huge hit. But I’m ok with it and I know both will still be here when I am ready to come back!

  3. Truth is, my life is completely overwhelming right now and I often just checkout for short periods of time to save my sanity. Truth is, when I checkout I check BTHR for something fabulous – ;) or I walk away completely and go get a pedicure like I did last night. Superhuman I am not – so ya, sometimes “we” just need to take a step back. Cheers to you (and me) for doing just that. In the end, we’re healthier for it. Truth is, I know my sanity returned as the young man gave me a 20 minute foot massage during said pedicure last night.

  4. Hey Cassie just letting you know us know how you’re feeling. I’ve been reading BTHR for awhile and yeah I feel I ‘miss’ your posts but I don’t want them if it’s stressing you out! Your readers know you and we’ll be patient so come back when you’re ready!

  5. It happens to the best of us but how we handle it is what’s important. Sometimes you just have to put yourself first :) I will be waiting for that drink recipe though!

  6. Ack – I totally did notice that you weren’t here! And I missed ya! I hear you – exercise is always the first to go for me too – bahaha. I hope you’re finding a little bit of peace wherever you be.

  7. Good for you for taking some time out. When I get overwhelmed, I also cut things out that aren’t necessary (and add in some chocolate…).

  8. I know it’s cliche, but exercise always helps. And teaching exercise class just makes all of my troubles go away. I had a crappy, stressful day yesterday, and then had to teach spin and bodypump after work. All of the sudden, all was right in the world again. (Until today, when I had to go back to work).

    Aaaaaaaand now I want a cupcake.

  9. I am right there with you… I am stressed/overwhelmed trying to balance the final weeks of school, keeping up at work, planning a wedding, and moving. My eating has gone to hell in a hand basket and the only exercise I’ve gotten is running round trying to get stuff done.

    I feel you. Press that reset button, take a chill pill, reassess and reinvigorate.

    I re-joined weight watchers today.

  10. I hate to quote your blog post in my comment, but:

    “Chances are my to do list looks like a walk in the park to some people and like a terrifying burden to others. It’s counterproductive, anyway, because that kind of comparison is what leads us to, as a society, shame one another for not performing at an impossible level. Just because my to do list is smaller (or longer) than yours, it doesn’t invalidate my feelings.”

    Amen, sister. AMEN. FREAKIN’ AMEN.

    That’s why I’m starting to hate Twitter and Facebook. It’s just one big, “I’m so much busier and more exciting than you” game.

    Hope you get your bidness sorted out. Take a breather. You deserve it!

  11. Every time you post, it seems, I am so very blessed by your words. You say my thoughts, which never ceases to amaze me!

  12. When I feel this way, I always think of a Mary Englebreight card I once saw, that had a saucy little girl with her hands on her hips saying, “Life is just so…DAILY!” It really is. Hang in there – I’ve been missing my blog too. I do miss you, but I know YOU have a life too! Eat frosting and start afresh tomorrow!
    Cheers -
    Teacher Karen :-)

  13. I absolutely ADORE this post. It beautifully encapsulates my position/feelings at the moment. Thanks for the permission to be overwhelmed too, by the way – much appreciated!

  14. oh my god, I wrote a research paper this semester on your first point! As women, we are absolutely expected to do it all, but it shouldn’t be that way. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to look our best, but it should never be on obligation. It’s a fact: women are always expected to put effort into their appearance, while men are admired for their accomplishments. Anyway, I won’t write out my paper here :P

    I’m the same when I get overwhelmed- I drop my workouts, and it’s something I’ve been struggling with this week. My exams are over as of 2 hours ago, but up until then all I could think about was school. It’s impossible for anyone to be perfect.

    I love how relatable (sp?) you are.

  15. I respect women (and men) who know when to say enough is enough. I started making it a practice to say no more often a few years ago, and people have told me they admire that in me. I know it’s not personal when I tell a friend I need the night to be alone. It’s about me, not them. I hope they don’t take it personally, but if they do, it’s not my responsibility.

    I am a counselor, so friends of friends or friends of my mom’s want advice, information, counseling from me from time to time. I’ve instituted a new rule with that. If someone emails me and says, “So and so wants to talk with you about their daughter…” I respond and say here is my contact info, they can contact me. I used to try to contact them only to find them unresponsive. So now I put it in their hands. If I don’t hear from them, I just forget about it.

    Just today my mom was telling me about a woman who she thinks would be a good fit for my church. She asked me if she should put them in contact with me. I said no; she should call the church office. I’m the youth director there, and I’ll take care of what I need to do, but with another full-time job, I don’t have time to pick up little side projects right now.

    I love saying no! (It gets easier over time, and you can totally do it without seeming mean or harsh.)

  16. Big hugs! And thanks. I’ve been thinking pretty much the same things lately : I am such a wimp because I can’t handle what’s going on in my life with grace and aplomb. I want to curl into a ball & see how everything turns out in a few months. You see these amazing people who seem to take on the world, and more power to them.

    Personally, I’m ready for my tattoo artist to put a fork tattoo on my left butt cheek, ’cause I am DONE! Thanks for helping me relive the guilt in saying that!

    • RELIEVE the guilt. Jeez, I can’t even spell these days! :p

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