the month of intentional kindness
I’ve been brooding a lot lately.
The reasons for my darkly-clouded mood aren’t really all that significant. In the grand scheme of all the terrible, horrible things that happen in this world, my problems are barely blips on the radar. But it can be so hard to remember that when you’re in the middle of them, you know? Bad stuff kinda piles up and suddenly you find yourself lost and confused and feeling like you can’t get a break.
Which is ridiculous, because man, I live one heck of a privileged life. Heck, I’d venture to say I even live a happy life (which is something totally different from privileged). So in an attempt to extract myself from my pity party and instead do something better for everyone, I’m declaring September the month of intentional kindness.
So often, I find myself just hoping that we could all be nicer and kinder to each other. I’ll be sitting at a stop sign and I’ll see someone plow through with complete disregard for the other people. Or I’ll see some unsuspecting cashier taking the brunt of someone’s chip on their shoulder. It makes me so sad that so many of us (me included) are so stuck in our own internal struggles (which are, the vast majority of the time, not actually significant) that we don’t take the time to just be kind. It sounds so easy—being kind—but when you are weighed down by busy schedules, traffic jams and work drama, it can be so hard to muster the energy to just be kind.
I try. I really do. But sometimes I focus so much on my little, annoying first-world problems that I get so wrapped up in myself and forget that the people around me are fighting their own battles. And that a little bit of kindness might just make their lives a little bit easier. What an amazing place this world would be if we all just went out of our way to be kinder to the person sitting next to us.
This month, instead of focusing on myself and my goals and my world, I’m going to turn it around and spend 30 days focusing on others. I’m going to do a not-so-random act of kindness each day this month. 30 days. 30 acts of intentional kindness. Hopefully to a stranger and hopefully 100% anonymously. And I hope that those little acts not only help people have a better day, but also I hope that they are inspired to pass along the little bit of kindness to the next person they meet. And maybe, as a nice byproduct, I’ll learn that my problems aren’t so terrible after all.
I just want us to all be better. Do better. Be kinder. And I figured what better place to start than with myself?
If you want to join in, I’ve made a grid of the 30 tasks I plan on completing this month. Some are more complicated and involved than others, but I want to finish them all up this month.
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I’m Cassie. I’m a Midwestern girl trying to live a healthy life without being too crazy about it. I’m a lover of fresh veggies, bright colors, craft beer, hiking, funky eyeglasses, and really, really dark chocolate.
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This is a very good way to turn the focus outward. I’ve always struggled with the balance between focusing too much on myself and focusing on others. Usually I focus too much on me. I want to teach my kids to love others, and help others with no expectations. But it’s something I struggle with doing on a daily basis.
This week I was helped out by two strangers on a rainy day. What they did was simple, and probably didn’t mean a whole lot to them, but as I was soaking wet, trying to block my kid from the rain and push 100lbs of stroller loaded down with groceries, their kindnesses made all the difference in the world. I want to pay it forward, and to remember that doing good, kind things doesn’t have to be huge, they just have to be genuine.
You are totally right that they don’t have to be huge. I sometimes get frustrated that I don’t have a lot of extra money to donate or a lot of extra time to volunteer, but the truth is, even the smallest act (like helping out a young mother in the rain) can make the world a better place.
I’m In! I think this may be exactly what I need to do and focus on to pull myself out of my rutt… I live in a community of less than 150 people so some random day roadtrips may be necessary to accomplish everything but that makes it even better
Thanks for the great post and reminder to be kind. Its nice to be nice 
Have a terrific day and enjoy your weekend.
I feel you on the small town! I’ll definitely be doing some of these when I go to work in the “big city”. There are no Starbucks or parking meters where I live.
The concept is a great idea!
The only one that gives me pause is randomly sending something to a name in the phone book – I would be SUPER creeped out if an anonymous gift showed up at my house. Maybe I have too much paranoia about stalkers, but that would be weird. Paying someone’s Starbucks bill or toll make more sense, I think those are common things to do.
I plan on including a note with it explaining how I got their name and the purpose of the project. Hopefully that will de-creepify it a bit.
Boy do I need this in my life! I hate coming off as gloomy, because I am moody A LOT and geez- life isn’t that bad! Life is pretty damn good, actually!
I definitely believe in random acts of kindness and paying it forwards, etc. BUT- I won’t ever donate blood again. I passed out last time and it was horrible!
My friend Katie and I used to always pay the toll for the car behind us every time we’d pass through it on the way to the beach. I love that. And I love so many of these ideas- and just saying HI to strangers is so simple! I find that when I’m out hiking, almost everyone says hi to each other (and even make conversation!). If people don’t say hi, I think there’s something wrong with them.
I honestly really struggle with the whole saying, “Hi” thing. It might surprise people, but I’m kind of an introvert and pretty shy, so it takes A LOT of effort for me to talk to strangers, but I feel so good when I do!
You make me want to be a better person.
That’s maybe the best compliment I’ve ever received. Thank you. XOXO
What a fantastic idea. The world could use more people like you!
I definitely don’t take credit for the idea! There are lots of folks out there doing something similar. I just hope it catches on!
Wow, all of your kindness ideas are really good and some are super creative!
I give blood every 56 days so I’m good in that category. Also, i just donated some clothes to St Vincent de Paul this week so i got that covered too.
I’d have a tough time doing some of these things though. For instance, I can’t imagine dropping $100 on a $50 restaurant bill. And if someone tried ‘slipping something into my purse’ I’d probably slap them an accuse them of stealing! LOL
I love the idea of complimenting someone’s work to their manager. That basically never happens but it feels so good when someone does that.
I threw some of them in there on purpose to be more difficult! Get me out of my comfort zone.
This is fantastic! I love the way you’re working with what is and finding ways to reroute the energy. HOORAY!
(And, two side notes: I used to work at a SBUX drive through… I *LOVED* telling people that their drink was covered by the car ahead… even better is when THEY passed that on! The second? It’s super fun confusing toll people by paying for the people behind you; “Do you know them?” No. Bye!)
(Oh, additional side note: I’ve heard rumour that paying for expired meters that are not your own could potentially get one in trouble. Just as a heads up. Not sure the truth to this.)
I’ve heard that rumor, too! I guess it cuts into the city’s parking ticket revenue? Oh well, if the police want to arrest me/cite me for being kind, I’ll let them. There are worse things in the world.
Love this! I’m going to for sure be making a list. Thanks for all these awesome things
Yay! I’m so glad you’re joining in.
What a great idea! There are some great suggestions on your list of 30. I would always suggest not withholding comments from strangers. If you tell someone you don’t know that there shoes are amazing, they will smile all day!
That’s an awesome one, too! Like I said above, I’m kind of naturally shy, so I really struggle with things like that, even when I do really love their shoes!
Oh Cassie, what a brilliant idea~ It is so easy to say I’m going to be better, kinder, whatever, but how clever to have a plan of action!
Thanks, Shannon! I can’t take the credit for the random acts of kindness thing (I’m happy to say it’s a trend!) but I’m so happy to be putting it in action!
I love it! What a great idea! September is my birthday month. I should celebrate by doing this:)
Yes! Definitely! I’ve actually heard of people spending their birthday doing acts of kindness. So if you are turning 25 (for example) you’d make a list and go out and do 25 acts of kindness on your birthday! Sounds like an awesome way to spend the day to me.
If only I was turning 25….ha!
I work in retail, and I can’t tell you how much it improves my day when someone is truly nice! We deal with a lot of people every day, and it seems that most of them tend to have something making them grumpy, so when someone comes in and is just truly pleasant, it makes my day so much better! I think a lot of people just don’t think about how their attitude affects the people they are dealing with even for a few minutes. A little kindness goes a long way. I try to always remember that and act on it!
I am new to your blog and I am (I keep saying I am because my apostrophe button keeps getting stuck)glad I landed here. I agree. September should be a month of intentional kindness.
Welcome, Dina!
Thanks for sticking around and chiming in. 
I really appreciate this post. I tend to be pretty happy and grateful most of the time. I run a non-profit for homeless and at-risk kids, so I would say I spend most of my day doing kind things for people.
However, the idea of being intentional with people with whom I don’t work is very appealing to me.
I’m a counselor, and I work with people who have pretty severe problems. However, I’ve also worked with and have friends who have the kind of first world problems you describe. They often say, “I know there’s starving children in Africa, and my problems aren’t a big deal” or something to that affect.
I tell them that is true. However, life is contextual, and it’s not realistic or helpful to measure your level of happiness with those who have lives completely different than you. I encourage them to allow themselves not to write off their stresses as not important. Feeling aren’t wrong. It’s what we do with them that matters. So if you need to feel badly about some stuff, don’t add guilt for feeling those things on top of the other stuff. Of course, there is such a thing of getting too wrapped up in our own problems. But we’re all allowed bad days, weeks and maybe even a month here and there. Honor your feelings and don’t dismiss htem.
This is an amazing comment and something I definitely needed to hear. Thank you.
Seems like an awesome list! I would encourage you to put the random pretty bookmarks in popular books, and make them acid free as thin as possible.
Years of working in a book conservation lab has given me too many experiences of finding bookmarks in books that have sat there for decades and the depressing damage left behind.
I think I need to get on this and do as many of those items as reasonably possible. I had a really terrible summer, but I could use this boost for my outlook anyway.
I’ve been upset about some big things and a little thing that doesn’t matter as much but still hurts and is nagging on me, so thanks for this.
Hi Krystal! I hope your Fall is better than your Summer. And hopefully spreading some kindness will help you! Good luck!
Oooh, very good point Shelley! I wouldn’t have thought about that! My library has a section for popular books with short lending periods (7 days) so they get in and out of the library quickly. I’ll make sure to put my bookmarks there.
I love this idea! Can I use your graphic and link up to you from my blog? I would love to make September a month of intentional kindness as well. I love how you have a way of turning the negatives to positive that is one reason why I love stopping by here.
Absolutely! Go for it.